Mormon guy dating non mormon girl
He is 31 and i am 27, and he has never been married. Also, i am agnostic so i thought this would be a huge deal breaker for him, but he said it didn't bother him.
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Lately, every time we have gotten in the mood he will go down on me and vice versa, but whenever it gets to the sex part he has been saying he doesn't want to and thinks we should wait. I got upset and said i just didn't understand as we have already done it, and now all of a sudden he wants to wait, but is still okay with us performing oral on one another. I don't want to force him but i have already felt unsatisfied with us barely doing it as it is, and maybe we shouldn't be together if we are so incompatible in this aspect of the relationship, because for me sex is a big part of a relationship.
After i told him this he said he wants to be together and thought we were doing well, but if it is making me unhappy he understands and doesn't want me to feel unfulfilled. I am having such a hard time with it too because every other aspect of our relationship is amazing and i don't actually want to break up at all, i am in love with him.
So i guess i wanted to ask advice here for people who know this religion well as i am confused. Don't most Mormons date other Mormons?
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He has never dated a Mormon girl in his life. I find it very strange that a 31 year old man who is a practicing Mormon is unmarried. Mormons marry off by like 23 at the latest. This is what i am confused of also. He has never dated a Mormon girl in his life and has never been engaged nor married.
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This is why i wondered if we can work. He doesn't seem a typical Mormon. Sorry - men who not only don't pursue sex but actually delay it have issues. There's no need to go through hell trying to make something work when there's nothing there and it'd be incredibly complicated to even make that nothing work. Back away from the "challenge" and find someone you're compatible with. Originally Posted by RJ This is what i am pretty confused about. So, let me give you a glimpse into how many LDS guys feel.
Here are nine things single LDS guys wish girls understood. It is not only physical. Let me start here. For most LDS guys, it is not all about the physical. We desire a relationship, something deeper, and ultimately we want a family. That is because we think differently. The first step to better communication is learning how we communicate and how we think. If we ask a question, we are seeking the answer to that question.
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Asking you on a date is hard. The courage it takes to ask a beautiful girl on a date is far more than you might think. It definitely took me by surprise. And yes, if I am asking you on a date, I think you are beautiful. And honestly, for every guy that asks you on a date, there are probably two to five that just have not worked up the courage yet.
I am just asking you on a date. Seriously, I just want to take you bowling or hiking. I am not asking you to commit to a relationship or to marry me when I ask you on a date. I find you attractive, and I am asking you on a date because I want to get to know you better. If it sounds fun, give it a chance. I understand school is a priority; I am not asking you to drop out. Being nice is being honest. In the quest to be nice, please do not lie to us. Being nice is giving us a shot, but then tell us straight. Honesty is an attractive quality, especially in relationships.
Lies, even white lies, hurt us more than the truth. Honesty can, and will hurt. But it is the only path that leads to happiness. A lot of girls think that their beauty is a weight or a dress size. It is not; beauty comes from within. Honestly, if you are trying, that is good enough for us. That effort makes you attractive. If I had one thing to add, mixed race marriages are quite similar. My experience has been that personal similarities and differences are a bigger element than cultural differences. Additionally, just as corporate cultures exist, so does it exist for every family.
It is amazing how different values and outlooks, interpersonal relationships can be from family to family. At least people of different races are aware of those differences, and are on alert to deal with them.
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Also, as Joanna points out, men and women already inhabit a separate culture. Rawkcuf, maybe your comment is like your name and intended backwards, but what do you mean by differences between races? The point made was that a parallel can be drawn between interfaith and interracial marriages. I would say though that racial differences are NOT like religious differences, certainly not those between Mo and Nomo.
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Racial differences can be very trivial—they really didn't come up much for my parents, for example—and are basically false differences. Religious differences, however are real. Whereas white and black may both sleep in on Sunday and tie their left shoes first, Mos have a set of behavioral norms that are in serious conflict with Nomo lifestyles. True Believer Mos base their actions on a set of priorities that make no sense to Nomos. Mixed races, however, are NOT tied into opposing beliefs and mixed races don't try to "convert" each other. There may be underlying personality similarities, but if the answer to "what shall I do next" is always trumped by a Morman frame of reference for one partner, but not the other, conflict is inevitable.
I think it was Spencer Kimball who counselled that before marriage you should keep your eyes wide open and then after marriage keep your eyes half shut. Within a cultural group marriage is hard. When you mix cultural groups you increase the difficulty. Bet as Joanna has said there are some things you should think carefully about — and this needs to be done with your head, not your heart. As Joanne mentioned, should you marry interfaith, you will have lots of help from fellow ward members on converting your spouse. How will your spouse feel about that in 20 years?
If you remain active, Church service is very demanding of our lives — not a Sunday thing. Is your spouse willing to give you up on Sundays, and half your weeknights? And depending on his views of the Sabbath, you will probably get the tug of war on Sundays.
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And after years of this struggle, will your love for him and desire to avoid the hassle cause you to reduce your activation? How do you really feel about that? Do you believe in the Gospel as taught by the Church? Do you truly believe in temple marriage as a requirement for Celestial attainment? If you do believe it fully, are you not really going to want him to make the conversion ultimately? Now look at the flip side — if he loves you, and realizes you fully believe, how will he deal with the importance of the temple to you?
Willl he build resentment at the struggle to get him to change whether real or imagined? Will he be happy knowing that you are giving up something of incredible importance to you? Will he possible convert just to make you happy without really buying into it? How do you feel about that? Love is what we do, not what we feel.
Affection will come and go based on our attitudes, and will not carry through the rough spots — married in the Church or outside. Full respect and care. I do wonder if you ask this blog just to get supporting advice? Is your mind made up and you want justifying support? There is no question that God loves all of His children, and that obviously includes non-members.
It would be ludicrous to think otherwise.
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But the issue of marrying a non-member raises two fundamental problems: That idea seems so contrary to the nature of God.